Wednesday, December 9, 2015


To You:

There's not a day I don't think and reminisce about what happened. I always kept my favorite moments away from the worst ones because those were something to keep me going. The bad moments I think about to remind myself of why I lost what I did. And the result of losing my self-delusioned person. The person I called my friend.

The thing is, I think I valued you so much because you're You. The woman I felt was most beautiful no matter how you looked. The dorkiest one can be and for me to have understood entirely. The most important thing to me, though, was that you unlocked cores inside me that changed my life. Something I couldn't fathom feelings, thinking or even comprehending because I thought I lost it all or have never felt.. It was more of a realization that you weren't only amazingly, but the fact that you were a key to unlock even more.

A key that unlocked my inner greed for more.

A key for more knowledge.

I lost and found myself in you. Someone who meant more than anything in the world to me.

There's not been one person who I have found more beautiful than you.
More in touch than you.
Anyone who's made me Feel more human than you.

The other week I found the answer I was looking for.. more like, I actually started to feel the answer to answer everything in my life. Not in terms of what happened, but it explains everything that I could've done better. I felt like you were my other half because you complimented everything I could think of at such an unbelieveable pace. No matter what I wanted to teach you or ramble on about, you caught on to and stuck to it. You absorbed and absorbed and absorbed. And even with all that absorption, you were still you. Even today, you still say a lot of things that I said, and follow it dearly or coincidentally. And the biggest half that I miss was that you, no matter where you were or are, always matched pretty close to how I think. at the rate I think.

The answer was an answer I spent my entire life thinking about and you're so close to it.

I talked to someone about it and they didn't understand it. They didn't feel it.
When I came up with it, I deeply felt it. Like everything made sense of how things could've been better. How I could've solved my endless depression. To fill the hole that I had as a kid growing up.

It was the same key that you lent me, but only now I understand it. I can put it into words, but the person I talked to showed me that it doesn't matter if both people don't understand it. Unless one person shows a million times the amount the other person does, then it balances itself out.

The answer was simple, and it was what you showed me and it was the thing that I stupidly didn't understand or feel.

The answer was to "Just let myself fall in Love with you."

To let yourself just fall.
Fall deep in love with someone and just trust them for once.
When I began to talk to you, I didn't understand that nor was it a real option; yet, as time went on, your amount overflowed into me and covered up my sadness and hopelessness.

And when you left or when I pushed you away, I began to get upset because I didn't understand. I didn't just allow it. If I could comprehend that falling in love was the answer it would have been the most sense I could ever understand.

If I was able to support you.
If I was able to understand how you felt and what you tried to get me to understand..
If I could have showed you how I felt rather than keep it all bottled up..
We could've spent more time figuring things out. Imagining bigger possibilities. We both have delusional minds for the conquest of the world.

If I just let myself fall in Love with you, things could've been fixed.

But falling in love meant that "my mind would never again be free to romp like the mind of God."

And in the end.

I fell in love with your key.
The most beautiful key in the world. No matter the shine, no matter the cover. There's no a doubt in me that everything about it, can be amazing.

I guess time to figure myself out again.
I got a new quest.

If you lose your way and want something fun in your life.
Invent or formulate an idea that can be sold for money.
In other words, you need more money to conquer.
Entrepreneurship will yield that.

That's where I'm at. I have an idea of what something is, but now I need to make it. I need prototypes.

That's why I got the whiteboards.

I really want to aim for China next year in the summer or October. Maybe even spring.
The spring one is "The canton Fair 2016."

2,000$~ isn't going to be easy to come up with though for a person though.

Well, that's the next step in this quest.
Keep at it.

I Love You. And Miss You, Friend.

Feel'ya later.

- Dan Elliot
That's starting to grow on me as an actual name. Just cause it sounds good. promise. Classy. yeh.

There is a bigger goal out there. And in truth, I just want to dream and do for bigger rather than waste our entire lives in places with no hope wasting our potential.

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