[Listening to: man of the world ft. on Naruto]

I don't have anyone to really talk to. So I sometimes blog here. Today is one of nights that I can't seem to sleep. All I think about on nights like these are about her. I've been doing a real good job about not thinking about her. Man, it's been a good job. Though... then there are moments like this where there's nothing I can do about it... I can't get her off my mind.

I can't say I even care about her... at least not consciously anymore... though deep down, there is always the side who would never mind going back, but that's always been how I am. I am that type of person.

Someone messaged me the other day saying they missed me and missed how we connected... I miss them too.. man... I just can't do anything.. I've been trying my hardest to get my kind focused... but I'm delusional as fuck... One small thing gets introduced to me and my mind runs with it being the truth.. idk... The latest trend was believing taking testosterone was maybe the solution. Depressants never workeworked. Antidepressants never worked either.. therapy or stuff like that didn't work either... I maybe just need testosterone is an idea... maybe I'm just lacking that... I've never felt anything towards anything. Including myself.. I should feel some passion or something towards wanting to be better or to have something. It's what makes you develop... ..iidk...

Anyways.. that's enough of a ramble for now And posting from mobile is difficult. /: